Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
