I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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