your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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