The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Randomize
