she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Randomize
