I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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