yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
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