If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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