i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
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