I swear she didn't look like that last week.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
