just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
I cut my penus on the lid.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
