she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
