i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
