Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
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