the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
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