I'm eating all of the evidence.
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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