Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
