yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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