I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
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