He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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