I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
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