I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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