somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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