I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I am mentally ready for anal.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize