i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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