I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
You're like the curious george of whores
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
