I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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