I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize
