upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Randomize
