problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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