that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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