Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Randomize
