Fuck appropriateness.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Everyone says I win the strip club
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize
