he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
