i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Randomize
