I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
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