How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Randomize
