we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Randomize