Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
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