last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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