I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Randomize
