The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
