Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
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