Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
