You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I just had sex on a roof
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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