If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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