Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Randomize