people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
