If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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