Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Randomize
