Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I'm sobbing to NWA
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
