i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Randomize