She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Found the puke drawer
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Randomize
