Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
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