i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
