I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
