i jhust puked up my retainher.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I am available for nakedness
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
I forget how to act sober
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
