she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Randomize
