Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
And the cops told us we were all naked.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
