I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
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