At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Randomize
