did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize
