I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
