Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
