so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
