I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
never play flip cup with pint glasses
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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