he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
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