When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
